Everyone is talking about Uni Entrance Exam in China this time. Unfortunately, I didn’t have experience about that exam, so I don’t have idea how stressed it could be .
I was not a good student type at teachers’ eyes, now I am not afraid to say that I’ve never been lucky enough for having formal senior high school education, as I dropped school at a very early age. It was not because I didn’t wanna continue my study, it was more related to our teachers, who instead of encouraging us try hard to get into Senior High School, the teachers appointed some good students without my name on the list. I felt bad as I knew I was not supposed to take the exam. Therefore, I gave up automatically without having attending the test .
At the same time , I was so released as I hated go to school very much, I could never recite words exactly the same as text books which we were asked to do every day. So I stuck at that point, I could never move on, no matter how good my mathematics and physics were, my Dad was too ashamed to attend my parents’ meetings as my name was on the list for behind at the class of memorizing those text books. Now I find how stupid teachers were, why they tried to punish my weakest side-memory rather than focus on my strength-mathematics and good understanding, which made me completely lost self-esteem, was that the purpose for the education? That’s fair enough .
After stayed at home for a few months, I found I missed school life very much, I wanna go back again, but the door was totally shut down, I had lost chance for having formal education forever at that time of 1980s.
I admired very much for those who could having a formal high school education, all I could do was enrolled in an evening school, started a new journey on my own. Finally, I completed all the subjects and finished high school course. And I self-learned data entry for typing skill, obtained computer certificates by attending schools.
The biggest movement I made was that I started self-taught English, I bought a tape record , learned how to pronounce, To started with, I failed so many times, it was really hard for me move on as I always stayed on the same chapter for one English text book. I could not continue, and I found after a couple of years, I was still on the same page, chapter 1. That frustrated me a lot. I failed over and over for passing subjects at English self-taught exams. I remembered I was too scared to open up my eyes for keeping eye contact with examiners on one speaking English exam test, and then I failed.
In those days, life was tough, I had my daughter, I did 8 hours’ work, I could waste time by gossiping with everyone in the company, but once I tried to read books, everyone would mock me for having study so hard, you wanna leave us? No way!!! That’s what I wrote on my blog: you are not mean to be a lucky one, you gotta fight….